Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
