This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
