haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
