Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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