It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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