i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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