Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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