for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just high enough for therapy.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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