Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
