I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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