then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
