Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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