The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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