Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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