When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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