Fuck appropriateness.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm experimenting with sincerity
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
