Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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