and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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