Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
