Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
