Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So. Much. Porn.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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