sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I just forgot I was standing up.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
