my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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