Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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