Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
