Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize