Are we in a gay sports bar?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
