We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
