I don't think brook has ever known best
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
