I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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