All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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