how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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