I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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