just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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