just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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