I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
