I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
So many bounce houses so little time
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
