weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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