so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize