ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Your dad touched me again.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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