he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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