how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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