ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
