I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
