No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
