Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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