yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
