I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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