okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
