Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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