Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
