Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
