Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
