we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You've changed since you got that strap on
as a side note pls kill me
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize