I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
