Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize