All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
