Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
