i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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