piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
