He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I want to fling myself into the sun
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
