If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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