I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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