Where did you get a picture of my penis
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
