and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
