Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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