Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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