i just wanna soil my oats bro
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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